Dark days

Losing focus, staying on the path, it is hard to figure out the math, when drugs is the first and last, part of your day, wasted as you lay, in the pit where your feces laid, forgotten and afraid, full of venom and rage, values stuck in a cage while demons are lose, sipping on grey goose, while contemplating whether or not this noose is suited for my... wait what am I saying, I am just playing, playing a balancing game on the roof, tip toeing on the edge of insanity, suicidal, that is just a phase, the mirror doesn't show my face, but has shown what these drugs have done, I am seldom dumb, but I am numb, so I sit and toke, mind running away from the smoke I blow, laughing at a joke, that these drugs will finally get a hold, take its toll, looking out the window, stiff like a scared scarecrow, feeling so low, like 10 years of snow, no sun, that is where depression begun,

I miss that girl

I miss that girl, miss our adventures between the sheets, I miss how your legs would wrap against mine, toes gliding and slowly caressing growing on me like vine, under the open curtains moonlight shines, sipping a full glass of wine, grinning like sex was lingering in your mind, like a cat prrring, eyes wanting, body burning, mouth salivating and yearning, intense and naughty stare twirling your hair, sex in the air, slowing bearing, one by one, i miss that girl, i miss how we used to twirl, engraved in my mind like a mural, but now gone, memory like a funeral, i miss that girl

Untitled 2

Doubt is the illusion,
our mind is the magician,
walking against the brick wall,
it hurts,
I feel it,
is it the body that cries or the mind?

Sit still and not move,
in the silence,
it speaks nothing,
close your eyes,
feel silence, thick
slice it,
feel it,

Quiet I walk,
misty night,
bright moon,
like a hawk,
stoned smile,
mind blooms

Ego and lust

Short skirts, short bursts, fire intense as the last, and as they pass, shaking their cute little ass, I am the ass, I am the snake slithering in the grass, they are the ticket to a burning firey desire, that only the human sensation can provide, I cannot lie, wavy hips, fakes kisses, short wishes, are my vices, but I still indulge, cannot bulge, like a pole in the north, I am frozen, only to be renew, by a new face, new body, new voice, no choice, just closing my eyes and let the choices choose for itself, emotions lost in the field of lust, a pebble in the sand of lust, no sails sailing into the land of lust, sex in the air, virtues fly away, where did they go, I was just preaching about them a while ago, but what took control? my ego..

My thoughts 2

We are the thinker,
are we also the doer,
the prime mover,
the antagonist,
the optimist,
the negative and positive energy that vibrates

We make the decisions,
the decisions are made,
before we were made,
so do we still decide,
or just ride the tide,

"We are the thinker behind the thought",
who thinks the thought?
who decides to quit
who decides to strive,
to drive through all the frustrations

My thoughts

It is raining, I am thinking of life again, thinking what could've been,what once was, now is, what once was so sweet, I just feel beat, just need a friend, just need a hand, just need someone to greet me hello how are you doing, you want some more, self loathing, self depreciating, actions that leave me with no sign of life, so I fight, to struggle to even get a glimpse of the light, but tonite, just me and my thoughts, we share a great bond, a life long, beautiful song that never ends, no regrets, just, just, me and my thoughts.

Tall pretty woman

Like a thief in the night,she sneaked into my mind, poisoning my thoughts, her eyes telling me somthing, begging my soul to lose, flaunting and struting, her body erupting, tall and towering, beautiful and stunning, eyes like pearls shimmering in the ocean bed, i think im lost in her, she has me trapped, no map, trying to find my conscious, rice grain in a haystack, cant stay away or and nap, her soul is haunting me when i relax, like these drugs calling me back to relapse, run laps just to not think about her smile, getting hard imagining her whispering, lipstick grazing my ear, chris stay for the night, it is hard to fight, she has a man alright, when she undresses, all i can say is yes, my mind is telling me it is wrong,  my hands fighting for its right, sex is part of the song, her hips cant be wrong, why is temptation so good, why is doing wrong so easy, why does it have to be her, my new nickname, mr. homewrecker.

A walk outside I notice a dead tree

Crooked is the wind as it blows against my thin skin,rough hands as it climbs the tree of death decay and deceit, a widow, the leaves fall off, separate, skinny branches look like skinny fingers of death, fear comes near, cold wind shivers, the moonlight quivers, the shadows come nearner,  heart beating like african drums, i close my eyes, praying my beliefs paint a wall of hope,

Can't sleep

Thousand sheep and counting,
Staring at the ceiling,
Cant sleep again,
Mind wandering,
Isomia is like an Unending road,
Haunted memories,
Lonely night lonely home
The only ghost awake,
Tired but cant retire,
Staring at the shelf but cant expire,
Hungry groggy
No taste no feeling,
Peace, i forgot the feeling

Untitled

I look at my life and how it used to be,
everything is new to me,
nothing is real,
but everything is,
the life is a test,
problem is a quiz
doubts are fake,
hope is the quest,
the mind,
a barrier we must brake,
the soul is steel,
why do we fear our wake,

To fear death is to fear life,
to fear life is to fear love,
so I don't love, but I love life,
I stray from love,
I fear death too,
get the puzzle?
don't worry,
I am confused too

Blue, black orange, green,
colours schemes,
shades or vibration,
real life or imitation,
questions linger,
and dangle on my finger,
I point the finger,
to find the truth,
point to the moon,
is the truth my finger,
or what I am pointing to?