Wake up

blinded by societies blinds, patients in their hospital, with an IV we sleep silently, societies coma, dead flower's aroma, savage diploma, like working so hard to be a rich slave, horses pulling their carriage getting paid only minimum wage, rich slaves with calluses everywhere that say "9-5 no life just work" body burned, scorched, torched using the flame that helped lure the moth, scary, we don't take the risk cos we forget to live, we forget what life is, we work to live not live to work, and thats how it should work, more money more problems, more honey more bees, more cheese more rats, more money more tax, thats just the facts, so im struggling now to escape this bureaucracy, this life that is full of fallacies, a fantasy where we are drones following a obese queen, asleep in our nightmare that they call american dream, wake up, wake up wake up

Free

i jumped on my spaceship and said peace, like i've aborted myself from this earthly crease, so i sail off to the winds, take me away into the sky, let me fly with my weed and i breathe, and i see, and i sleep on the clouds, beside the stars, riding mars, floating on venus, suppose this life is just, is just, imaginary, hollow and graveyard obituary, but its just me being opinionative, and my lyrics are subjective to the most open minded, contradictory allegory, that i have embodied my heart and soul in fully, so fill me with smoke so i can evoke the soul that has evaporated from my pores, so light me up with the soul of bob marley, smoke rises from my temple heavenly, so let me toke once more, an ounce, a gram, give me more until i cannot withstand the gravity that has lazily shackled me and prevented me from spreading my wings, give me a gram to help me produce an anagram, blind me from the abyss, drop me to the bottomless floor until i can't stand anymore, until i sink into oblivion, i don't want to be societies minions, smoke till i stink like onions, small eyes big toes like paul bunion, so floats away to the infinite galaxy, where me and the weed and me and the big nugget of green are free. only free

Old soul

i am an old soul, i have wisdom and don't chose to be, but i am wise, i learn and these tattered clothes are my disguise, an instinct of a criminal, linguistic of a martial artist, scientific to every inch, every vertebra connects with reality, not forgetting what having manners mean, while others laugh and play, im toiling, not spoiling even one second to make sure my future is progressive, i quit engineering for training, why, ask me where i train, ill tell you that it doesn't matter, ask me how i train, and tell you in the heat of the terrain, in the coldest winter, im indian seated, deep in thought, floating and meditating, experimenting on this opportunity of being in my twenties, im young but im distant from dumb and ive given up on degrees because universities have given up on the real meaning of educating, im learning from the knowledge the world has bestowed on me, knowledge comes in all forms, like a blast, kaboom, not only found in classrooms, not only found in books, but found in mistakes, found in trials, found in tears, found in wise peers, found in the fundamentals of your values, they say when you stand for nothing, you fall for everything, well i stand in the heat of the winter, in the winchill i remain calm, sit still while i write with my imaginary pen-cil, and dig deep into my soul using my experiences as the drill, find the true meaning why money makes us sleepless, why women with thick thighs and thick breasts call for us and breakdown our fortress, but i try to never let the stress trespass and tiptoe passed the pieces of our fragile fiber glass that we call society.

Wishes

in my dreams and wishes, i see a sky filled with kisses, roses, fields of red blushes of milk, a bed with linen as soft as silk, but those are my wishes, filled with pipe dreams, smoke rises, adrenaline rushes, thoughts filled with emotions, dreams and wishes, in my wishes, there are no bitches, no riches, just smiles painted with colors of happiness, so what are in my wishes, cars, jewels, big houses with furnished basements, those are the basics, thick women, financial freedom, a life where, stress is as light as the air, where we see the light but we can open our eyes to the glare, where we embody what we say, where we say what we mean and do what we say, where a plane ticket to the bahamas with lots of mamas is an hour away, where we don't have to worry about tuition, where we can really listen, where we can just sit down in some place, where we can erase, our mistakes, by the deeds we do today, by the life we live today, i wish for the best, i am forfeiting the rest, taking a chance, where we suffer or succeed, im doing what i feel i need, im doing where the money and my heart both agree...

Dangers of one night stand

white lights, dark night, two lovers, two friends, the plot thickens, two glasses, two hands collide, two eyes, with your glasses you have four, im kidding, with a bottle I'll have more,vision blurry but i see clear, walking side by side on the side of the bridge, flirts, skirts, i point to the moon and your breast brushes my shirt, i pause but you smile, then you laugh, then i point to the far moon, i said i can give it to you if you want me too, let me lasso it like in the movies, she kissed me and said lets get a snack like scooby, ice cream, strawberry and mango, delicious, one touch, each lick of the ice cream drives me delirious, but im still serious, i wipe ice cream off your lips, and you slap me like it was a game, in my head this moment has played many times, by many girls, same role different face, so what is different, her smell, her touch, her voice, the same, her name, maybe her eyes, nah thats the same, deja vu, when will i get a clue, i look around she slaps me and says im getting wild and wet, roll up a joint so we can forget, let me lose, let me forfeit, let me lose my will, let me let you win, sin, take control leave me breathless like im gasping for air, gasping for wind, gasping for lust, trying to force myself out of this but i can't, trapped in a movie, i know the end, but i still chose to press play, not knowing, only feeling, kinesthetic, logic, im just a beast in bed and thats my emotion, so when the lights go off don't expect me to be chris, don't expect me to love, im not a saint, im not sent from above, im not from hell either, but would you rather, she doesn't listen, just gets the undressing, hair ripping, shouting, tempting, who can resist, her back bent, erector spinae present, well defined, hips like an hour glass, an hour has passed, the mask of lust is gone, the flavour has soured, the animal is satisfied, my hormones are pacified, i kiss you and you to me, secretly we just lied, we sleep facing apart cos we don't share the same heart, we face the other way cos we know this is the easiest way to stray, to fade away, to escape, to savor the 60 minutes to pleasure alone, its cold alone.

Doubt

doubt is like a cloud that is as dark as stout, that rains over your head, it has a voice and it shouts, it has a crooked path route, like 16 shots to the head to pass out, only to the most devout, self doubters, it scatters like flees on the backs of dogs, an unwanted bog, waiting to burst and explode at the height, annoying mental croaks like a frog, it strikes at the weakest moment at night, lying in bed looking at the starry night, like corrupting your dreams as you sleep silently, quietly, a battle rages, no blood but it still reaches the front pages, you can see read it from the doubters face like a gauge, you fall when you engage in this tempting phase, a self-doubters friend is his mirror image where he can pretend to be someone else only to be crushed by his fears, so he goes back to his reality where he despises to the highest degree, but he is afraid to risk it, delicate like an age old biscuit, it is easy to mis it, to be a misfit, but in his heart is an imprint of the life he wants to be married with, but the shadows around him haunt him, his mirror image isn't him, he is walking a tight rope, sweat pours down his brow, his vision narrows as he looks down at the crowd, as he looks around at the onlookers, but his focus is like magic like hocus pocus, but his pompus ignorance keeps looking down, his face is stoic, no smile no frown, just focus, like a circus act waiting and wailing, he walks the tight rope, no strings no rope, only with him are his clothes and wings of hope, breath by breath, step by step, hoping his next decision is a stepping stone instead of a tombstone

Life switch

where do i go, where my clears hover above me like snow, when they pour into my ears and drift into my nightmares, where they corrupt my judgement and give me empty promises, where the lies are so thick that i can't even see my soul, where my voice is weak and the truth is only that keeps me warm in this cold, where the truth is not found in the ordinary, in the contemporary, but this is what i preach but i can't seem to see with my very own two eyes, this is what i teach but i can't seem to follow, cos the road along the way is the least traveled, cos the route chosen is for the stupid or brave, shit is he really about to switch from engineering to fitness? is he crazy? is he just lazy? nah, i my ears are open and i've found my calling, i don't want to look back, the only thing that can convince me are the hard facts, they can be cold but warm, they can come in bits or in a swarm, i just need a sign like a postcard, send my energy and vibes out and see what the universe sends back to me, is it really that easy? i know this is right for me, my body mind and spirit know it, but i don't know if the money will support it, im willing to hand out flyers in the snow, in the cold, long hours of the night, hardwork is what i uphold, and i will never hold myself back, place deadlines on my life, ultimatums on where i should be at, cos life is education, no need for school tuition, as long as you keep on learning, you'll be living your dreams.

Train tracks

i see all the train tracks, where men have fallen cos they relaxed, ive seen the bills that they've been taxed, i know the facts, i know im whole but there is still that giant whole that i lack, and i wish i could just quit now, sit back and relax, unclog the plaque, demystify and testify cos sometimes i don't know what im up against, i don't know the road ahead, and i know mistakes is a part of life that makes us human, but that part i want to skip, i wish i could rip this fabric into bits, tear it with my teeth and spit it out with my lips, trippin off smirnoff living off, but ofcourse, these nightmares have driven off, these theses i have written off, these 10 hour days haven't even paid off, so how can, can i live just because, or should i live cos i choose to, and these options are what i have to get used to, cos the sooner you accept the sooner you learn to sleep with all those regrets, cos decisions turn to either happiness or tumbleweeds of regrets that you cannot forget, cos while you sleep, slippery, the sweat on your feet is what is keeping you from reaching your dreams, your, or should i say I, I am falling but this is just a mood swing that i can eventually swing out off, the playground, the quick sand, think fast, it is a fast world, and you gotta maneuver, know your limits like a ruler and work with it, the decision i have made may not have cured my sleepless nights, tossing and turning but it is the fatigue that kept me out of that horror filled league, but i, continue to see, my past haunting me, a building a foundation crumbling, while i wake up, straight to work, like balls but im juggling, and im remembering i had life figured out, but somehow, like a thief at night, struck me and now im cross-eyed and hunched back so can't walk or see straight, through the maze.

Her beauty

cabin night, muskoka night, it was my weed, alcohol and my friends, something about this night, it was definitely the company i kept, it was one of those nights that you were loving your life, it was one of those nights that you could truly relax and turn a blind eye, cos tomorrow couldn't come any later, if i could talk to time, i would say take your time, tomorrow is too far in the horizon, so please leave me and my friends alone, please, im living my youth and im just mixing mr belvedre and mr orange juice, so please excuse me, suddenly, this honey approaches me, smiles and says why arent you pouring a drink for me? so i said, take a seat, enjoy the night with me, blunt, sex and alcohol, a perfect mixture, the only thing that bothers me in this picture is our clothes, so while we drank, i let the alcohol control until one by one our consciousness unfolds, till our clothes slowly come off, a couple of shots, a couple of kisses, a couple of laughs and we'll be getting into business, my girl passes out on the couch on my lap, she looked at me, hey chris take care of me, im just going to nap, i said ok, no problem sweet heart, i lean on her i hear her heart pound, i look at the moon, life a wolf, i howl,i know this moment, ive been here before, im experienced so there is no need to rush it, just enjoy the moment, the anticipation is like a rush of adrenaline, something you gotta take control and let it control you, i look down at the birch floor, i look around i smile cos my boy just took his girl to the room, and i know he's going to score, he looks at me and with his bloodshut eyes, he winks, puts up his drink, smiles and we knew that we had a great night, the night wasn't over, i still had this honey rolling over, touching my thighs, groping it, holding it, squeezing to get my attention, i stroke her head, down to her arms and shoulder, her head on my lap, she looks at me hey chris i feel bolder, she gets up and leans, crotch pressing on my jeans, her breast wasn't big but tonite it seemed like it, i guess it was the effects of the alcohol, she said chris lets take one more shot, with her hands wrapped around my head, i said yea, we took one last shot, i left the burn throughout my throat, down to my esophagus, then we eloped, floating to the bedroom, one by one off her clothes went, step by step, a beautiful rhythm, undressing and teasing each other, visual foreplay, one hand against he wall for balance, as we remove the last piece of clothing, it was my chance, at this moment, a rare moment, she lets you see her real beauty, something that the world will never see, she whispers to me, tattoo on her skin says "for your eyes only" , beautiful, against the dark and the light she is radiant, something these porn labels couldn't never duplicate, sex cannot be portrayed on a screen with two strangers, with no love, or passion, only a real woman can provide this sensation, this is real life passion, we get on the bed and dance between the sheets, i wish this was real, you gotta envy my imagination...

After watching fight club

my intentions are good, so please don't let me be misunderstood, im standing in societies highway, looking up the highest building today, clutching my fist at it, questioning how we are living today, am i just being dramatic, the movie fight club left me traumatic, having questioning my cause and existence, let me share you this quote for instance "we are owned buy the things we own", can someone explain that to me, credit cards, payments, phone bills, we do not own ourselves anymore, slaves to society, living a life of blinding philosophy, they have us handcuffed, chained, with our eyelids lifted while we watch our generation turn into misfits, no, forget it, forget misfits, worse, a curse, they have turned us into... ill thinkers, followers, weak, no voice, no say, scared, yes thats what we are, scared to be who we are, we have trapped the rebel, we have let ourselves be who they want us to be, watching what they want, talking they way we are suppose to, but what about us, what about the rebel, forget being nice and considerate, we live in a tough world, grow some balls and live with it, forget the conventional, its time, our time to be original, "only when we have lost everything we are free to do anything" anything, anything, does that shake your entire being, the thought to be free from fear, to be anything, yes, anything, fear, doubt, insecurity, let these all burn in the face of your destiny, scary, yes, hell yea, whats to be scared about, failure, what if we fracture, what if it is a mistake, a mistake to be original, i can't lie, im scared too, afraid, fear, it is infectious, contagious, it grows, like weeds, against the wind, can you hear it breathe, can you feel it grow, im human, i fear it too, and fear sometimes surrounds me, it howls at me, laughs at me, but i chose to be different, eccentric, thats what they call it, well fuck it, im believing in myself, fuck the public, im the poet, im creating these lines, i help build these bars, i've fallen and i accept my scars, so i don't care, i have no attachment, all i have is a vision and attached to it is a road map with directions.

Montreal Stallion 2

there is so many things i can do with you, with the disco lights body like a stallion, eyes shine bright like a medallion and im just dreaming,laying on my bed with my eyes open, staring at the ceiling, of the night we had, so golden, memorable, its been so long, so far, so gone, so leave the lights on if you want to, my thoughts conceal you, trapped, and with this pen, im trying to free you, i can see you sail away with a white dress, in the misty fog, on a sail, on the edge, looking at me, longing for my caress, and me on the doorstep, on montreal night we could not forget, looking at my eyes, waiting for my next step, and could you ask yourself, what if you let me in the room, what if i had never left, would you consume me, and i did you, i wonder if i would be a fool, for chasing you, but im just painting with my pen, not only do i write with it but i can draw our night out with it, or even trace our future with it, so come with me, to our fantasy, escape everything, the last thing i want is to wonder, what if, what if, what if i didn't even bother, what if i didn't meet you that night, what if we never took that dance, what if we never took that cab ride, what if we never talked on skype, what if i never disappeared, what if i tried, what if you tried, im tired of what ifs,

The world is watching

inner battle, inner fight, thats why i can't sleep at night, outside i see lighted cars horns that wake up my scars, i close the curtains cos i feel the world is watching, eyes on the window, blink blink, i can hear the world think think, while im tip toeing on the brink brink, sometimes im hypnotized by the way i fall like a vortex in the sink sink, but just think if i didn't have my ink, so i just cuddle with my shadow while i wallow and swallow misery's wife called sorrow, arms to chest, behind me i feel my shadow hovering over me, i think these drugs have finally got a hold of me, somehow i got to see, but all i see is the mirror with my enemy holding an axe at me, so i close my eyes and look to the rain, rain that rushes the window pane, like horses stampeding, drizzling, the clash, so startling, staring at the rain, where did all my ambitions go, when all i ever done turns to stone, everything i see is grey, part of me still fights but the purpose of it all is a pin stuck in hay, and its up to me to find it, im lost...

Weed and alcohol + 16

drinks to drinks laugh to laugh, everything is alright till we taste the aftermath, yea we all can add, but can be subtract, take away all the mistakes we had, no, thats how life is, and these hard lessons is what help us grow, a socially awkward bafoon, inflated, head like a balloon, swimming in sin, lost in lust, dark trapped in a lagoon, eat chocolates no shrooms, deflowered, but you are still pure, the smell of incense disguised as weed scent lures, provokes me to blow kisses not smoke, so intense, that i, that i, drink the crooked I, till my eyes are crooked, bent, hell bent, driving on mary jay street with no helmet, for heaven's sake, is there any drug that can tell me my fate, cos i have friends but no one that i can relate, so i roll up my papes, so i can escape, breathing in the smoke, toke by toke, i slowly elevate, to the sky, but no one knows that i, meditate, so i fly, so high, till i fall, on the bed room floor, with a stranger i never met before, but thats ok, cos thats my fate, another escape but thrusted back into the arms of which i have lusted for, the mirror i can't ignore, but thats ok, just... sleep..

So irritable

lately i've been irritable lately, cos lately ive been thinking about the reader not judging me, cos i am a lot of things to different people, and just last night i could not sleep, tossing and turning on my uncomfortable sheets, me and my sheets, just a couple of nights ago it was me and you and me in between, but not even sex could take this pressure off my chest, no, i need to address this growing issue as i look at the clock, its eight-fifty three, seven minutes before nine, that leaves me ten hours before my first job since serving, sixty hours till my next interview at goodlife, life is not good, and it will never be, seen through the eyes of the pessimistic, chris, get a fucking grip, but i can't cos the image of a beautiful picture keeps slipping of my delicate fingers, into the mouse hole, i run for it, i try to catch it, snatch it before it gets away, i want to hold it, tightly, nightly, i see it, frightened, gasp for air, deep breath, i jump into a pit, dark, fall, stumble on a thin wire, just walking through the wire above the heat of the fire, as each hour i can feel my body expire, as each minute i can feel the sweat, as i perspire, i can feel the heat, as each second passes by i wish it never did, so i can recollect and try not to slip, i don't want to sleep cos i don't want life to be cheating, dreaming is not reality, it is what we want to see, what we dream, but we wake up to the truth, so thats why we never remember our dreams, cos if we did, we would never wake up to this shit, never have to deal with school never deal with break ups, heart aches, the winter of our lives, the summer of our dreams, rose petals, winter pines, grassy fields and waterfalls, to the cold lights and frozen lake on niagra falls, and tell me when you sleep, do you ever feel like falling, and you wake up on the same bed you were lying, you know what was happening, it was god and the devil battling, over your soul, scavenging, like vultures on the sandy shores of the sahara, hovering, over our half dead corpse, ofcourse, i kept my one eye open while i was sleeping, i wasn't dreaming, maybe i going crazy, life has to stop cheating, im just fighting against my will and i think im getting lazy, im sick and tired, im sick of being sick and tired of being broke..

Being a player sucks. One nightmare stands

we can work it out, sorry i gotta cut ties, it was only for 1 night, it was great, it was great for you right, cos for me it was, but thats, i mean, it was great, leave it at that, wait, where are you going, it was real? yea i know, it was for me too, you said it is all nothing, u said it more than once, so i never took you for a dunce, but things change, don't place the blame, love, lust, like, its all a game, and we are very good at it, no strings attached right, wasn't it that agreement we had, we signed it in silence, a non verbal unethical decision, and we sealed it with a kiss, with alcohol dripping from our lips, the disco and strobe lights, music playing, banging, and you, magnificently astounding, chest like double D marshmallow, and me, your tan skinned knight accompanied with a devilish smile, im dangerous, explosive words, volatile, that enter your mind in no time, that silence your morals, that shuts down your guard, places morphine on all your scars, enhancing the moment of excitement, yes, im good at it, so please close your eyes and tell me what you want with your eyes, tell me what you want within with your skin.. just think, pleasure is on the other side of the hill, ill walk you through the pain, ill take you down there, i got gills, work it out like a drill, a small crack, a giant drill, hard like an anvil, silhouette revealed, moaning from the unrelenting, overwhelming skill, im the master stay still, tonite, nothing is real, but everything else is,

Lay down

she told me to lay down, she told me to place her on the ground, maiden, undressing, kissing, gentle teasing, playful pokes, lips taste like cigarette smoke, continue and provoke, yoke is getting heavy, eyes are groggy, just smoked an ounce, and now, im ready to pounce, mr. grey goose, hennesy, backwoods, lights off, like a rocket, ready to take off, she tells me to lay down, told me to place her on the ground, her hand grazes my face, sensual and soft, with the same hand, turns the lights off, it wasn't part of the plan, this was unrehearsed, this is what twenty two year olds take part, a birth, more like a rebirth, my hands slowly glide to her waist, gliding on her girth, slowing unbuttoning, tongue playing, she told me to lay down, she told me to place her legs on the ground, spread apart, whispers in my ear, enter your arc, im ready my dear, tight like an orange, untouched virgin, i think thats what they call it, thats what it felt like, slow it down chris, not too fast, it hurts, is that what love is, looking at her, staring at her confused eyes, i release a devilish smile.. what a night

Lust vs love

it starts out as a marriage, embellished friendship, an emblem of significance, the difference, it all lies in the few sentences, unfolds in the next phrases, for we are jailed, scared to love, free to lust, lost in the text, blessed with lies, running with hate, humane mistakes, left there, lying, in the pool of lies, picked apart, softness is the bate, treachery is the bate, suffering and tears, their fate, for lust's sake, forgive them, forgive us, sex is the bate, sex is the allure, forgotten bliss, fake kiss, cheap lipstick, animal instincts, thrilling, dim lights, curses, scars, painful bites, memories of soft thighs, skin tights, the moon cries, heart sighs, winks, shouts, midnight howls, life a wolf, hunts for food, pussy is the juice, succulent, dirtily magnificent, trust in, trust in, plastic protection, pastor, please forgive, for we sin, pills, magazines, thrills, ills, drowning us, deep, no gills, only a nose, knows only hoes, golden bangles, stilettos, high heels, low esteem, we know, yea we know, but we still go, forfeit all, virtues, lover, Einstein in bed, virtuoso, but no love, cold, pluto, far distant, after succumbing, leaves, girl thinking, easy, yes, no stress, more to brag, one more in the bag, phone rings, bell, jazebelle, hell, spell lust, ok, but love, close eyes, blind, spellbound, loves only dogs, hound, where are women, strong, passionate, mothers, daughters, ashamed, sinners, hide us, please, hide us, love, trust, sincerity, a bond, longevity, peaceful night, serene, voice heavenly, touch, gently, start something, family..

Sex with a classmate?

it was a friday night, my buddies and i were celebrating the last day of exams, as i took a sip i felt a vibration on my hip, a text message, "message received, my phone spoke to me,"it was a text from this girl in our class, i wonder what she had to say, she was a classmate who had been eyein me since the first day, i knew she had a man and i know she's been dropping hints for awhile, so i read the message to see what it is about, hey chris its erin whatsup, what are you doing tonite,KABLAM, like an open goal, its an easy score, i said nothing much just hanging out with vic and such, what about you, what you up to, nothing much my mans out for the week, so i guess ill be playing the home alone geek, i said, ahh don't tell me your home alone, i said you should have came out with us then you wouldn't be hot and bored at home, she said,, yea its a bit too late plus i don't like drinking and driving, its dangerous you know, i replied with a simple OK, letting her bite the bate, i know she wants me to come over and consummate but i gotta let her push for the date, she replied 5 minutes late saying, hey chris you know i still have your calculator, remember, i said, oh yea i remember, i said don't worry you can keep it, its just a calc i got many more at home, plus i dont know where you live, it'll be a long drive for me, plus im a bit tipsy, ahh chris, you're too nice, don't worry you dont have to leave you can stay over a bit, oh yea my fridge is broken, you are good with your hands so maybe you could give ME.. oh i meant it a quick fix, i've seen you with your hands you're really good with your hands, i said you said i was good with my hands twice, what are you trying to say, she said, i meant nothing, so come over at 12 ok?, ok send me your address and ill be there as soon as i can, "knock knock" im at her doorstep, she opens the door wearing nothing but her corset, lingerie hanging and tight breast cavity, oooh shit what a sight to see, shit damn im tipsy, so i said, why are you wearing just your lingerie, she said its hot and i was just keeping cold, i said its cold outside, minus 10 below, ok i said never mind, where is the calculator, the night is getting old, i better go, she said come in, its in the bedroom, she whispered devilishly, next to the vibrator, i said what, she said nothing its in the bed room go get it, oh before you get it, can you take a look at the fridge for a minute, i said ok, ill take a look at and ill see what is wrong with it, ok chris, you can't go until you fix it, i tell her to grab the calc, as soon as i bother with the fridge, i hear a scream, slip, i shout, are you alright erin, chris i fell, i don't know where i am, come get me, i rushed in the room, i walk in, its dark, i said where are you, the lights quickly turned on, to my surprise, something fell alright, her clothes, oh my, kinky, she looks at me dirty, places her red panty on the lamp, room turned dim red, like a snake coils and lays on her bed, my eyes open my heart pounds, she does the come here gesture with her index finger, i come closer, i said what are you doing, starts unbuttoning, she whispers, you know what im doing... rough red neck, triple X sex while laying on the bed edge, breaking backs and necks, splitting spines, pounding that gushy gushy in supine, laying there lying sweaty sin steaming inside, bite marks, scratches, lighting that lustful flame like matches...

Hawk in the night

the night is calling like, like a hawk, stalking, walking on the walls, put this in your mouth and breath like halls, now pause, stop running, there is dirt on your paws, for we are small, kings to pawns, sharks to prawns, no rhyme sentence or pattern, mind gone, spaced out like saturn, when will i return, im small stuck, dead like dust in the urn, so feel me, see me, guitar strings like puppets on stage, nothing but music fills me, this rhyme means nothing to me, but it is apart from me, apart from me, is an apartment full of compartments that i depart when you hear the roar when my fingers hit the keyboard, and so like a phoenix i travel and soar, into time, untouched oasis, stillness of a lake is where our peace of mind exists, body moves and curves and the groves, spill wine and dance, like the intimate romance, the swivel of her waist, intimacy is a sin to a nun meditating on celibacy, but that is far from me a different galaxy, while in my universe i battle a fixed fallacy, a battle, trapped in the interwoven elastic tapestry, a cave, cavern of lust, she bows to me, on her knees, calls me her majesty, lust is satisfactory but love satisfies me, so call me, within the deep halls of thee...

Youth now

Yea I but kids now a days cover up with lipstick, angels turn to misfits, mischevious ideas that conjure up make up, so kids swallow more than lipstick, paint dipsticks on their lips, falling inlove with the misprint that life is about cheap gimmicks, but im not immune to this sickness, sometimes I fall, deep within the realms of my sanity, vanity is nothing but clear glass tainted with silver linings, so when I look at the image I see lies implanted like a seed with no sun, or air, the truth we are blind to infront but eyes closed like glare, so spare me your futile impaired judgements about the world and how about no one cares, cos where on the contract does it say that life cares, a misprint hat we imprint in our instincts, truly a fare game, nothing is true, everything we say is a lie, so there is goes, a fake halo, shoot me if I lie like halo, awake no, we are but asses leaping, falling asleep on the steering wheel, while the real driver is our ego, so where do we go, if we don’t know who we are, why should I please for their pleasure for I am my own treasure, buried deep within me, is me, a sculpture of the woman or man that I want to be, so save me from the lies of today yesterday and tomorrow, and I promise to be, all I can be, like the army, but salvation is far from me, so I dream, where I am awake, a paradox an oxymoron of what is fake, and enigma like a tumor, sick of all the rumors, I want to be me, sick of being sick and this feelings are ridiculous, a trick , like I was the dog with the bone, it is as it was in the parable, staring at the water, looking into my reflection, belittling what I considered to be my best, opposite of being head and above of the rest, a test, yes, this is mine, what is yours,

16 and in Love, sam chris

yea i have changed, what you said stunned me a bit, kinda hurt me a little. i have a different outlook on life, im looking at the world at a mature point of view, what are you looking at? are you still stuck with a 16 yr old image of chris?

what do you expect from me chris, you left me chris, i still remember your 16 year old image, my heart was ripped to shreds, torn, im still collecting the pieces, i wish we never met, i wish you never left, i bled, to this day i regret we ever met, dammit,

but what did you want me to do, sam, you were everything i ever had, my 16 year old heart could never love so hard, i could never see anyone the same, when i left, i was to blame, i was the culprit, until now no one could ever fit, i admit it, there is still hole, a void, and i admit i avoided love, but how could i, how could i lie to myself that anyone could replace your name in my heart, your voice, your skin, your touch, you were the torch that kept me alive, and i am glad we kept in touch, but, in the back of my mind, i still hope that someday we finally meet, have a future we were suppose to build, suppose to nurture, it wasn't suppose to fracture,

chris, to be honest, i wish i had given myself up to you, but im glad i didnt, cos if i did, i would die, knowing that the next day you would be next to my side, know that we were never going to kiss again, oh wait, tears, not again, i hate you, i wish i never met you, i still remember the day before when you left, it was dark in my car,we hugged and cried each of us lying in our arms, sobbing like there was no tomorrow, cos we knew that there would be no tomorrow, what would you do if you had one more kiss with the person that consisted of your whole entire existence?

so im writing this verse with tears in my eyes, a letter that will never meet your eyes, cos i know, i just know that we will meet someday, till that day, i will be a better man, never forgetting where i came from, never forgetting what love really means, to love with no fears, like poetry expressing entirely what you feel

Story 2:A boyfriend? Really?

haha.. bro check this out, i was waiting in the bus stop right out of school, busted out my head phones, cranked the tunes, the suddenly, out of nowhere came this, impeccable, highly thick, sick looking, half jamaican hick, sweet thang, dreadlocks like big cigar blunts, goldilocks, i said oo, this is my chance, to get to know this girl so that one day we can go out for a dance, dutty wine, walking, hips giggling, like fine wine, small waist, thinking to myself, this moment i could not waste, keeping composure and grace, i was daydreaming, the bus was almost leaving, i made a run for it, cold canada and hostile wind temperature was the only thing getting in my direction, got on the bus, caught my breath for a second, scanned the people in the bus, looked for a seat close enough in the range of her peripheral vision, sitting and waiting was such a mission, thinking to myself damn, this is going to get awkward, i've done this before, i know the code, the game, what if she thinks im lame,nah, just stick to your guns and skills, be real, keep it 100, done this a 100 times, but this one was different, something magnificent happened everytime she passed by, like a dove in the sky, whistles of bells jingling, birds chirping, sweet tingling, she already has me whipped, could she be the one, damn the bus just stopped at square one, my heart skipped, got off the bus, thought about it for a minute, how should i approach, whats my gimmick, hesitation was my only limitation, so i said fuck it, whats with this cowardice, pussy, are you kidding me, go talk to this girl, no need for details, just in and out, grab her email, so i did that, grabbed her by the arm, remained calm, i said my name is chris, whats yours, alexis, nice, sweet, how you doing, whats your program in sheridan, electrical engineering, im chemical, anyway, i have to go, its getting cold, its freezing, minus 20 below, ill see you in school, take care bye.. oh before you leave i need your email if you dont mind, sweet... snatched it, boom bastic, got this girl, so i quickly got home sent her a quick note, she replied and said, sorry,, just to let you know, no offense, don't take this the wrong way, im thinking.. hmm i've never seen this trend... she replies once more and says, just to let you know i got a boyfriend.

Montreal Stallion

walking down the stairs, headed for the door, bright lights of montreal casino, roll the dice, take a dive into this vice, take a chance, then some angel caught my glance, caramel skin tone complexion, thick, rich and deep eyes, sweet thighs wearing skin tights, wifey?, unlikely, but could be, she had me amazed by her stare and gaze, she looked like a diva, she is hot, blazing, fever, feeling feverish, i knew i had to make this, move, so smooth, i thought i missed my chance, i saw you in the club dancing, for a short period, i pictured us romancing, under the moon dancing, my eyes were on you like white on rice, spending our last moments in this dark dance floor paradise, but you drifted away, away without a trace, into the sea of faceless faces, trace this back to the moon, catch the star so i can make a wish, one more chance to catch this caramel sensation, on the last night in montreal, on the last night of montreal, like it was fate, like the gods decided to meet there, at the right time, when i saw you at the bar, i knew you were mine, we drove into the dance floor like a car, and then like a star, bursts of passion and desire, hands on your hips, i guide you as we glide, to where no one can find, to where our hidden desires burn, your lips i wanted to earn, and slowly, as we groove, we unfurl, wild flower, so much fire, so much power, so much intense touching, groping, big bang, sing sang, sweet thang, words slur, everything is blur, with my eyes close, all my skin feels is her, her scent her sweat, her curves, sweet tenderness caress, giving the moon coffee cos this night i never wanted to end, headed back to the hotel, i push her head back against the wall, tongue play, like kissing wasn't my only forte, wrapping her hands against my neck, foreplay, like wii she wanted to play, but i told her to sleep well, have good dreams of me, and continue this escapade while you sleep, i close the door, i say to myself, what a night to remember, her name, amelia.

Awake or asleep 2

my eyes open to the darkness, i get out off bed, look for my phone on the floor, check the time, its 1 am, disoriented, confused, i don't know what to do, like horses running, thats how i feel, racetrack stampeding, lost, at the window staring, thoughts like a perfect circle, images flashing back and circling, head moving like an owl,howling at the pitch black scene, wondering if this is a dream or am i hanging out of a cliff to where reality sits, to where fantasy ends, but i guess, could it be the stress, the underlying fact that i have stuff on my mind, so i take a shallow breathe for a moment, getting on my knees, staring at the ceiling like i was praying to an omen, lie down and i wish i could plug my ears, cos the sound won't disappear, ringing, tingling, confusion, like fusion explosion when sound meets silence, the boundaries of insanity are limitless, bottomless,walking down the wooden hallway, staring at an old decrepit portrait of myself, so i sleep, continuing the previous dream, only to be floating like air, but only asleep, deep within a realm where our nonconscious dwells,,

Can you find the heart beat between the words?

yes i was wrong, yes it was me, yes it wasn't you, it was my fault, forgive me please, cold heart, no heart, no life, blue veins, cold tears, so many years, memories, so single so solitary, so jailed, so penitentiary, so wrong, such a felony, and what i've learned, when you click you click, no games, no need to play play any tricks, no playing time just lots of loving time, so many times, so many days, so many months, and i still remember them like i, i, i gave up, i looked down, but you kept me up, you gave me the pen, the beat to which i rhyme, you are my poetry, i wish you never left me, you were the life to the rhymes, the beats, the lyrics, the words, the sentences, the cadences, the heart to the mind, body to soul, im just crawling, you left me in the cold, but it was my fault, i locked my self, i lied to you, but i had to go through it, it was my sin, i am in the forest, and the trees are temptations, i am a man lost from salvation, lost and grounded, deep and far from redemption, please forgive me, so ill be standing outside, calling your name till it rains in the heat of summer, till it reaches 80 degrees in the winter, till you can finally see your name carved in my heart center, till you see , you see, dammit, im hurt, i fucked up, my nose is clogging up, please see

It was all a dream

keeping pushing thats what the doctors say, to the girl that got pregnant the opposite of late, what a claim to make, a baby at such a tender age, feeling depressed like sanity and god gave up on her, like life just said fuck it and let this man fuck her, like no one gave a damn, like her luck left the door and ran, cos thats what her man did, candid moment as he left her stranded, on the door step shinning against the light, just as the baby opened her eyes, he said bye, just as the baby opened her eyes, the door shuts, tears run down the woman's eyes, trying to hide, trying to find, trying to make a life with no education but she knows she has to fight against... everything life has to bring, trying to find love so she gets down on her knees, lifts her head above, praying to god please, sends him her please's, help me's, god dammit's, so she think's about the what if's, what if i didn't, what if i, what if i, but the truth is only in her eyes, pain she disguises with a shaky smile, her daughter's snore sends her strength to move, but as the baby sleeps she sits and stares at the wall in room, she gets off the bed, sits in the corner of the room, places her hands together, bless, knees to her chest, talks to herself 'when will i finally get to rest', this is my life's test, the walls in the room cave in, deep breaths, hard to breathe, stiff neck, lights dim, she wakes from a dream only to be woken by a shout 'mommy come swim', sunlight blinds her for a bit, she wakes and knocks the pina colada shake, splashes of warm water strike her face, her daughter's smile is brighter than the sun rays, just a dream, just a dream,

Me or chris

im sorry chris, i failed you again, i was weak again, or should i say me, no you, wait, don't get confused i know you who you are referring to, its me, the man in the mirror is never the man we are ashamed to see as our reflection, so time to take the gloves out for this inspection, i was wrong again, life is a big puzzle and i can't solve it, i wish it was an equation so i can balance it, i wish it was as simple as saying hello, how are you doing today, my name is chris, but it never is, im your server today what can i get you, oh you want to start off with a fuck you, a piss in a class as your drink, a fat ass as your entree, main course, so what do you call this, when life gives you shit, shit, im stuck again in my pursuit, like dog chasing its tail, never knowing that what you were chasing is behind you, so that means it is chasing you, not the other way, but we, or i should i say I still never look at it that way, i continue to chase what i already have, even though i have it in the bag, so is sadness chasing me or am i chasing it, is happiness eternal or only for the moment, glimpses, short bursts, instances..

It can all be so simple

it can all be so simple, but how do we live in this jungle, we are men amongst animals, educated amongst uneducated, living this life that is sacred, a blessing to be in the walls of thee, a statue of our finest features, shinning and glistening in the midst of the mindless, emotionless, egocentric people who mistake freedom for carelessness, and so they posses, nothing but themselves, thinking that anger lust and vanity can help them grind through reality, and sometimes we forget how to act like humans because all we see are thieves, low self-esteem animals in man's clothing, so we must learn, learn to burn the notion that we must never drink the poison that they drink, eat the food they eat, it would foolish and dumb to succumb to their ignorant ways, im telling you, don't be slaves..

Limbo

im still confused about alot of things, let me place it down in ink, inkblots, doctor says im insane, i think not, or maybe my brain is just surfing different waves, caves, server's minimum wage, graduating seems different a little significance could help me struggle less, for instance, in still on the fence, everyday i rhyme with a beat in my head, still beating heads cos i don't have time for women, i've through with blunt heads, pot heads, bring it all back to where i used to smoke backwoods in the woods, in my room up to no good, man im lost, the price of struggling now than later is only for the moment, or is it forever, it was a lie, the truth is not what it is, never what it seems like, cos nice guys get slapped for being nice, so im an asshole with a hole in my chest where my heart used to be, flakey women are just no use to me, but i still continue to see them as a priority, seeing life through the eyes of the gullible majority, where, do, we, go, still lost in limbo, just leave a memo, chris aint here, he is busy with the black temptress whispering in his ear 'gimme some more', cos it is really easy to see the good in other people but when it comes to ourselves, we crumble, fall short, a fumble, so we continue to stumble down the flight of stairs, lost in the concrete jungle, blind, scared to look at our fears, unwind the ball of uncertainty, nothing is real to me, but all i see is my destiny, even the stars blow a wish for me...

real from fake

its hard to find real things now a days, everything you see glitters with diamonds, shiny shimmers of gold and glee, while everything you see, or so you see, or what you claim reality is is nothing near to what it really is, friends, life, school, immature bullshit that you go through, but im just down, playing and wallowing drowning in the mud, and this is just one of my low moods, hormones, maybe, or maybe relationship with my lady has been a little bit rocky, unstable, still unable to have a firm grip on what relationships, every time i run, i slip, why can't i skip to the fun and just forfeit that bad, thats always the plan but it never happens, and im still confused on what happens when people become shady or flakey, it is them or me, is it me, or am i just being played by my self esteem, am i just on the wrong team, is my game weak, how come other guys seem, see its only seem, not the facts, you've never seen them operate, playing on bullshit like it was a game, and they must be MVP, but i ain't playing that game, mine is real, but im still confused, life is just a movie, and relationships is just a scene, and i've barely watched the credits, so what do i know, what do i know, have i grown, have i developed enough life skills to stand tall on my own, to have a relationship, to have friendship, cos it takes skill to be real, and its so hard to recognize the fake from the real, the genuine from the spineless, boneless, fake heartless no good lazy motherfuckers that surround us, or maybe im just being hard on them and on myself, calm down, you've set the bar to high to be climbed, but is it my fault that i only accept happiness within my halls, within my chamber, within my life,