Sleeping with sorrow

im in the middle of the sea, drowning, taking my last breaths, crying, tears slowly drift away into the open hopeless, forgotten, ocean, and somehow, i don't care, don't fight it, im drowning and i can't seem to breath, so i just fall, no need to gasp for air, no need to keep warm, let the sea take me, like my problems, when i face the mirror and look at them, it funny cos i don't need a mirror to see them, i see them, like driving in the rain, water droplets strike the windshield, it's dark, im driving fast, drunk almost crashed, 2 am and a bottle of OE, sirens, hoping i don't get caught with a DUI, or ever worse, DIE, cos simply when i feel down, lower than the dirt, i just wish B was never placed in front of IRTH, cos suffering hurts, i just wished i missed all my appointments with disappointment, and i wish responsibilities didn't feel so heavy, but i chose to face them, i can't expect not to swim in the open sea and not get eaten, chopped up and picked on like a pack of nuts at pub, that didn't make any sense, sensing that the hands of bones that i have buried have risen and come to get me, i can hear them awaken, stricken, they represent all the evils that are locked in the deep well, and when i am down, i look down at them, and i see my mistakes, faults and errors, and somehow they drag me down, force the insecure and jealous chris out, speculations, self laceration, jealousy, my soul drinking Hennessy while staring at the girl that im aimlessly attracted to, you see, don't you see, can we see, with societies glasses stitched on our eyelids...