Train tracks

i see all the train tracks, where men have fallen cos they relaxed, ive seen the bills that they've been taxed, i know the facts, i know im whole but there is still that giant whole that i lack, and i wish i could just quit now, sit back and relax, unclog the plaque, demystify and testify cos sometimes i don't know what im up against, i don't know the road ahead, and i know mistakes is a part of life that makes us human, but that part i want to skip, i wish i could rip this fabric into bits, tear it with my teeth and spit it out with my lips, trippin off smirnoff living off, but ofcourse, these nightmares have driven off, these theses i have written off, these 10 hour days haven't even paid off, so how can, can i live just because, or should i live cos i choose to, and these options are what i have to get used to, cos the sooner you accept the sooner you learn to sleep with all those regrets, cos decisions turn to either happiness or tumbleweeds of regrets that you cannot forget, cos while you sleep, slippery, the sweat on your feet is what is keeping you from reaching your dreams, your, or should i say I, I am falling but this is just a mood swing that i can eventually swing out off, the playground, the quick sand, think fast, it is a fast world, and you gotta maneuver, know your limits like a ruler and work with it, the decision i have made may not have cured my sleepless nights, tossing and turning but it is the fatigue that kept me out of that horror filled league, but i, continue to see, my past haunting me, a building a foundation crumbling, while i wake up, straight to work, like balls but im juggling, and im remembering i had life figured out, but somehow, like a thief at night, struck me and now im cross-eyed and hunched back so can't walk or see straight, through the maze.