So irritable

lately i've been irritable lately, cos lately ive been thinking about the reader not judging me, cos i am a lot of things to different people, and just last night i could not sleep, tossing and turning on my uncomfortable sheets, me and my sheets, just a couple of nights ago it was me and you and me in between, but not even sex could take this pressure off my chest, no, i need to address this growing issue as i look at the clock, its eight-fifty three, seven minutes before nine, that leaves me ten hours before my first job since serving, sixty hours till my next interview at goodlife, life is not good, and it will never be, seen through the eyes of the pessimistic, chris, get a fucking grip, but i can't cos the image of a beautiful picture keeps slipping of my delicate fingers, into the mouse hole, i run for it, i try to catch it, snatch it before it gets away, i want to hold it, tightly, nightly, i see it, frightened, gasp for air, deep breath, i jump into a pit, dark, fall, stumble on a thin wire, just walking through the wire above the heat of the fire, as each hour i can feel my body expire, as each minute i can feel the sweat, as i perspire, i can feel the heat, as each second passes by i wish it never did, so i can recollect and try not to slip, i don't want to sleep cos i don't want life to be cheating, dreaming is not reality, it is what we want to see, what we dream, but we wake up to the truth, so thats why we never remember our dreams, cos if we did, we would never wake up to this shit, never have to deal with school never deal with break ups, heart aches, the winter of our lives, the summer of our dreams, rose petals, winter pines, grassy fields and waterfalls, to the cold lights and frozen lake on niagra falls, and tell me when you sleep, do you ever feel like falling, and you wake up on the same bed you were lying, you know what was happening, it was god and the devil battling, over your soul, scavenging, like vultures on the sandy shores of the sahara, hovering, over our half dead corpse, ofcourse, i kept my one eye open while i was sleeping, i wasn't dreaming, maybe i going crazy, life has to stop cheating, im just fighting against my will and i think im getting lazy, im sick and tired, im sick of being sick and tired of being broke..